Hey:
I will be frank with you. There are some elements here that will work, eventually. There is nothing original in thought here, or at least expressed as original. All these ideas have been visited a thousand times. It appears you are young and I do not want to discourage your creative penchant but this seems it came forth in a matter of minutes or maybe an hour. These thoughts are disjointed and thus possess not cohesive unity.
Verse 1: you talk about feeling alone
Verse 2: Memories and getting high
Verse 3: Love and lust and there is an ambiguity in what meant the world to you. Love over lust or realizing you were chasing shadows, not an apt metaphor for lust, at least in my opinion.
Verse 4: An open mind, well that's a start
Friends with views a world apart
That is the best in here. And what answer? There is no question. I see the thought but in a song there is no time to decipher or make one think even a little.
The seeds thing is old too.
I understand that you are new to guitar and you SHOULD NOT give it up. THis should also not discourage you but force you to dig deeper into your life experience, find more literate vernacular and search out the best music that supports these thought as written long before you were born.
Example: Joni Mitchell-Court and Spark-Peoples Parties.
Moody Blues-Seventh Sojourn-Kinghts in White Satin
ANY BOB DYLAN.
Just read the lyrics, forget the music for now. The words came first, likely, anyway.
Good luck, don't be discouraged. Even the best writers rewrite sometimes a dozen times before it is right. You can not possibly expect your first to be great or even barely good right out of the gate, really!
Larry Mayer
SI, NY
