Wrote this about 10 years ago. I did it once at an acoustic night at a pub in Leicester and was then nearly always asked to perform it when I went in the place. don't know why. it's not really that good.
DIERDRIE BLUES
Oh Dierdrie, Oh Dierdrie
what words can I say
to express how I feel
when you are far away.
But Dierdrie when you are close to me
and I think of the things you do
my whole body starts to shake
and that's when I feel blue.
The sight of your gargoyle face
and the words that spit from your mouth
makes me break out in a cold sweat
and I wish I was far south
Oh Dierdrie, it has to be said
the taste of your cooking makes me ill.
Your under-cooked roasts are really vile,
as for your soup, well, it's pig swill.
Your gas-like breath sends me to sleep.
Your toxic nagging drives me to drink.
I don't know how much more I can stand.
Oh Dierdrie, I'm dangling on the brink.
Oh Dierdrie when I'm feeling low
I think of the reason I married you.
Your fortune will be mine if you die.
So Dierdrie, my darling, please do. SOON
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